you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize