My friends, they love my intelligence
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
