I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize