The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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