Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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