totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
