What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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