last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
