i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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