remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
