I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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