And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
