How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
