loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
