we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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