its not stalking. its research.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
