Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
