Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
