don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Enjoy the penises
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police