I feel like abortions should bother me more
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
