I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
