Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.

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  (812): Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support. http://tfl.nu/gdfj
  Replies (1) Good night (1729) Bad night (774)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.

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  (425): Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars. http://tfl.nu/v0mr
  Replies (29) Good night (1099) Bad night (3015)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.

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  (508): Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen. (781): I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night. (508): Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street. http://tfl.nu/mnwi
  Replies (25) Good night (1199) Bad night (2496)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

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  (917): its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch http://tfl.nu/4wbs
  Replies (4) Good night (5268) Bad night (753)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

  (406): View more from Montana

  And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Amen.

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  (701): The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out. (406): And we all know God doesn't like sinners. (701): Amen. http://tfl.nu/nq0i
  Replies (14) Good night (6590) Bad night (763)
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  (716): View more from New York

  She's like a pop up book from hell.

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  (716): She's like a pop up book from hell. http://tfl.nu/grf5
  Replies (18) Good night (1030) Bad night (4080)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag

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  (321): He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag http://tfl.nu/8y86
  Replies (16) Good night (1773) Bad night (634)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.

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  (402): At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket. http://tfl.nu/qyc9
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (771)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.

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  (603): I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/omfe
  Replies (13) Good night (1095) Bad night (732)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning

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  (512): The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning http://tfl.nu/lha0
  Replies (5) Good night (1388) Bad night (443)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?

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  (401): Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer? http://tfl.nu/x506
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (734)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.

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  (903): Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell. http://tfl.nu/clzb
  Replies (4) Good night (593) Bad night (356)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.

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  (386): She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months. http://tfl.nu/gk3l
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (603)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away

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  (403): Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away http://tfl.nu/gyy8
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (289)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird

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  (778): And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird http://tfl.nu/xqlb
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (474)

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