Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(314): View more from Missouri

like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now

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(239): View more from Florida

And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.

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(716): View more from New York

So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...

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(940): View more from Texas

You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.

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(281): View more from Texas

Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.

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