If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?