Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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