Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is Oprah even human
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
