you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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