If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize
