Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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