You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
