how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You are the jesus of drinking
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
