does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
