just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
