I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
