Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
