Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
