Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
