I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
