bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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