People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
