okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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