I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
