i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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