I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
