a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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