Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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