READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
