she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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