jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
