I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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