you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
