This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
