I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
