It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
