I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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