My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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