Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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