Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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