do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
