Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
