Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
