I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
