U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I understand Curling. That high.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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