The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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