I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
