i don't like sucking hair
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.