Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?